Raindrops and Sunshowers
by KuroiAgeha
Summary: Makoto is starting to struggle with his feelings for Haru. He'd give anything for Haru to be his, but since he knows that's not possible, he's happy maintaining the status quo. Or at least, he's trying to. MakoHaru.
1. Epilogue

"Haruka-sempai is so beautiful when he swims. Ne, Makoto-sempai?"

Rei's comment to Makoto during swim practice that day was unnecessary. In fact, Makoto would go so far as to say it was a massive understatement. However, he nodded his assent, with a genial 'Un!'.

To him, Haru was always beautiful, whether he was swimming, cooking mackerel, scowling or smiling. Makoto had always admired Haru ever since they were kids. He'd always had the sense that Haru was special to him; that his sleek dark hair and glowing blue eyes were something that attracted him on some fundamental level. He recalled once or twice telling Haru so when they were younger, but Makotos' zealous claims of 'You're so pretty, Haru-chan!' had only served to make the introverted boy uncomfortable.

As the both of them had gotten older, Makoto learned to keep these feelings about Haru to himself. They'd evolved over time with the inclusion of factors like puberty, into something that Makoto was sure would make Haru even more uncomfortable, considering that the other boy had only gotten more socially inept. Makoto felt as though puberty had not been kind to him. He'd always been an early-bloomer, towering over the other kids in elementary and developing bodily functions a long time before the other boys in his class began to gossip. The biggest change had definitely shaken him though, one morning when he awoke, not for the first time, to find his sheets wet and his mind once again full of unrelenting, unfathomable blue. From then on at least one thing was clear to Makoto; he was probably gay, and in love with his best friend.

It was a shame that others couldn't see what Makoto saw; when they saw cold aloofness, he saw shyness and embarrassment. He had long suspected that Haru's behaviour was probably bordering on some kind of social-anxiety. However, it appeared that Haru's aesthetic beauty was definitely not lost on other people, especially when he was in water. Once or twice he'd spotted Gou-chan absent-mindedly staring, the metaphorical stars in her eyes swelling up feelings in him that he knew he shouldn't have. He'd always known that Haru probably wouldn't feel the same way; he'd never shown any sign of romantic inclination to anyone and it was a long shot to hope that Haru might possibly turn out to be gay too.

To be honest, neither one of Haru's possible sexual preferences made Makoto happy. He didn't want to imagine anyone else with Haru but himself, so even if Haru didn't openly declare his love for his best friend, Makoto was satisfied with never having heard him do it to anyone else. He knew it wouldn't last; Haru was too attractive and too talented not to catch anyone's attention. He had a sneaking suspicion that Rin was developing those kind of feelings for Haru, but for now, the main thing Makoto was worried about was keeping his own feelings in check and not freaking out his best friend.

So when the rest of his team had already long left the pool and gone home, he waited for his friend to finish as usual, offered him a friendly helping hand as usual, and they set off home together, as they always did.


	2. In which Makoto deals with Jealousy

He hated this. This feeling of jealousy wasn't like him; he always tried to find the good in other people and especially never harboured any ill-feelings towards anyone, let alone his friends.

However when the reply to his invitation for Haru to join him for lunch that day was a short 'I can't, I'm going swimming with Rin today', Makoto found it very hard to text back and tell them to have a good day.

This was stupid. He knew he could never have Haru all to himself, and the fact that Haru was venturing out without him and making an effort with Rin was something Makoto should be pleased with. God knew Haru could do with more friends and people surrounding him; his parents very rarely came home and after his Grandmother died, he was sure Haru had become just that little bit quieter, more shy. He was no shrinking violet, but he wasn't exactly a social butterfly either. Yet Makoto couldn't help but wish that he'd gotten there before Rin that day, not that it would have stopped them going out another day.

He had a hard time masking his bad mood for the rest of the day, his temper short when Ren and Ran started playing up. Eventually they noticed something wrong with their big brother and left him alone to study, only reappearing in his room in the early evening with Haru in tow, obviously just gotten back from swimming.

"Watch out, Haru-chan – Nii-chan is in a bad mood today!" Ran whispered obviously, grinning cheekily at her brother while playfully failing to hide her hand from his view.

"Yeah, he shouted at us earlier! That's really mean, right, Haru-chan?" Her twin brother chimed in, mimicking her actions.

Makoto shot a sour look at the both of them and they giggled and ran off, leaving Haru to question Makoto silently with a cock of his head. Sighing, Makoto just shrugged and moved over on the floor so that Haru could lean against the bed next to him.

"They're exaggerating. There's nothing wrong. They were just being too rowdy earlier and it got on my nerves." he reasoned, hoping Haru wouldn't comment on the fact that he almost never said his siblings 'got on his nerves'. "How was swimming?"

"It was okay," Haru replied, grabbing one of Makotos english notebooks from the floor and flipping through, obviously trying to memorise his answers. "Rin was like usual, trying to race. He also thought because I like water, I wouldn't mind getting pushed in the pool. It wasn't funny."

'_Teasing the guy he likes, I bet'_ thought Makoto sourly. '_Such a immature way of flirting.'_

Immediately, he regretted his way of thinking.

Forcing a smile a hollow laugh, he turned away to his book and carried on writing, if anything but to try to push the paranoid notion out of his head that Haru didn't seem THAT upset at being bullied by Rin.

"You should come with us next time. Maybe you can race Rin so I can have a break." Haru went on, still flipping through the book.

"Yeah, maybe." he replied uncommittedly. They fell into silence, one that was not altogether as comfortable as it usually was between them. Makoto wondered if Haru noticed the weird tension he was feeling. It was like he didn't know what to say to his friend, which was rare. Beside him, Haru shifted awkwardly.

"Makoto," bright blue eyes focused on him; he could see out of the corner of his eye Haru's determined stare. "Are you sure you're alright? You don't seem normal."

Continuing to focus on his homework fruitlessly, Makoto made himself smile, even though it wasn't directed at Haru. All of a sudden, he wanted to be alone, to sort out these horrible sulky feelings of his. He even felt like lashing out at Haru, but he knew that would be wrong and he'd instantly regret it.

"I'm really fine, Haru-chan," he replied, doing his best impression of a person who was fine. "I'm just a little tired today. I didn't sleep well last night and the twins woke me up early this morning."

They fell into an awkward silence again, with only the sounds of writing and flipping pages filling the room. Inwardly, Makoto was battling with himself. Why couldn't he get his emotions in check? This kind of situation was exactly what he wanted to avoid; that's why he forced down his feelings for Haru and never brought them up. He was getting so sick of constantly having to hide it. It was exhausting, and he was getting more and more afraid that it would impact on his current relationship with Haru.

Only a few words were shared as they both continued to study, neither one feeling particularly talkative. After about an hour or so however, it seemed as though Haru had had enough of studying. With a heavy sigh, he lifted himself up off the floor and grabbed his bag, ready to leave.

"I'm going home," he said moodily, as Makoto's head snapped up, finally looking properly at him. Haru's face was in grumpy-cat mode, his lips pouting ever so slightly and his eyes diverted from Makotos. Even in Makoto's grouchy mood he found it adorable. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Really, you're going home now?" Usually he would at least stay for dinner. It seemed more logical to stay and have some of the Tachibana's dinner rather than go home and cook for one person.

"Yeah," he headed for the door, not looking back at Makoto. "You seem like you're in a bad mood, so i'll leave."

"Haru!" Makoto tried weakly to call him back, but Haru had already left his room. He heard Ren and Ran say their goodbyes before Haru's footsteps plodded down the stairs. Frustrated, Makoto threw his book at his TV in an uncharacteristic bout of anger. It hit the ground awkwardly, the pages bending the wrong way, and Makoto didn't feel any better for doing it.

–

When he arrived at Haru's house the next day, ready for school and quite a bit earlier than usual, he felt a little better than he had done the night before. Sleeping on it seemed to make the whole situation better, and he was able to look at it with a different point of view.

Just because Haru and Rin had spent one day together didn't mean that they were suddenly going to start going out. There was no need for Makoto to get so worked up over something that hadn't happened yet. Besides, what right would he have to get worked up over Rin stealing Haru away when he'd never even fought for Haru's love in the first place?

He and Haru had always had a special bond, and he knew that they would always share that. Of course, Makoto wanted that bond to be deeper, but at the moment he convinced himself that he was happy with the way things were, spending his days with Haru and being able to admire him without any judgement from anyone. As long as no one knew about it, no one could tell him that he wasn't allowed to feel that way.

With a brighter smile than yesterday, he reached Haru's front door and gave it the obligatory knock, even though he knew it would go unnoticed. After the usual minute of waiting, he bit down a laugh as he took the familiar route around to the back door. '_Nothing changes with Haru.'_

He'd come a little earlier that day so that he could apologise to Haru for being so grumpy last night. The last thing he wanted was for Haru to know that Makoto's mood was partly because of him. So with the excuse ready that he had had a bad headache all day yesterday, he opened the door to the bathroom, stepping over the heap of clothes on the tiled floor to reach the tub.

The water was slightly murky due to the soap Haru had added before getting in. Makoto noted the unusualness of Haru adding bubbles to his bath; usually he opted for clear, pure water, but thought nothing of it as he bent over the bath, catching the attention of the submerged face barely visable through the bubbles. Haru's eyes opened wide and he surfaced, taking a deep breath and flicking his blue-tinted hair back with his patent swish.

"Makoto?" he questioned, his face red from the heat of the bath as Makoto smiled at him and sat on a dry spot on the floor. "Isn't it a bit early for school?"

"Well, yes," he replied, taking in the sight of droplets slowly making their way down Haru's thin neck. "But I thought i'd come and apologise for last night. I'm sorry I was in such a bad mood."

"Oh," Haru looked away sheepishly, and brought his knees up to his chest, holding his legs with his arms. He seemed a little stiff about something. Makoto hoped he wasn't still annoyed about the night before.

"Yeah... I... um... I had a headache all day yesterday, and what with Ren and Ran being so loud and having so much homework, I just... you know..."

He stood up and offered Haru a hand, smiling in his lop-sided way. However, Haru did not take his hand.

"Haru?" The smile slid off his face, replaced by worry. "Are you really still angry?"

"I'm not angry," Haru's face seemed to glow even brighter as he stared down at the bubbles. "It's just that... well... I'm not wearing my jammer."

A pause. Makoto could suddenly feel his face beginning to match Harus as he retracted his hand, letting out a meek "Oh."

"Um, yeah..." Haru mumbled, pulling his legs in closer. "I didn't think you'd be here this early, so I thought i'd have finished by the time you got here."

"Oh. I see. Well, i'll just wait for you in the living room then."

"Okay."

"Okay."

Makoto slid the door shut behind him and made his way to the living room. He plopped his bag down neatly beside him, took a seat at the small kotatsu in the middle of the room and prompty faceplanted the desk.

He was sure he deserved a medal for that.

–

The walk to school had a hint of awkwardness about it, but Makoto wasn't sure whether the awkwardness was just stemming from his intense awareness of the situation that had just occurred. It wasn't as if he'd never seen Haru naked before, but it was always either in a communal shower and it had been a long time since. As they'd gotten older, Haru had developed more of a sense of privacy, and although he had no qualms about stripping in a public place when he had his jammer on, he had become a little bit more aware of being naked in front of other people. Makoto couldn't blame him; he himself had grown into wanting more privacy himself, especially living with two young kids.

Besides, being presented directly with a naked, wet Haru probably wouldn't have done his self-control any good. As it was, he was having trouble getting Haru's blushing wet face and shy pose out of his head. Being presented with a jammer-wearing Haru was more bearable; his odd habits could distract Makoto from the obvious. Naked Haru seemed so much more... sultry and erotic. Of course, he realised he was probably romanticising it in his head far more than it actually was, but he was also having trouble caring about that too.

However, he managed to keep up the light pleasantries as they took the familiar route to school, and Makoto was thankful that everything seemed back to normal for now.


End file.
